Four of Swords—Time for a Break
Tarot Tuesday
“The struggle is real and you’re goddamn exhausted.”—Lisa Stearle, MODERN WITCH TAROT
The Four of Swords
We’re in the final two weeks of 2023 and I’ve been thinking about how I want to close out the year. I was raised in the Christian tradition, and though I’m no longer religious, I celebrate Christmas. Not as the birth of Jesus, but as a time for reflection, embracing nostalgia, and spending time with family and friends. It’s also a temporary respite from everyday life. So, as I think about the year’s end, Christmas and the celebrations surrounding it occupy a lot of space in my mind. I want to make the most of the season by focusing on things within my control.
First, let’s look at the card I pulled this morning to see what thoughts it prompts. The Four of Swords. I briefly discussed the suit of swords in last week’s post, so we know swords govern matters of the mind and intellect. When I read the MODERN WITCH TAROT deck’s description of the Four of Swords, I had to laugh—”The struggle is real and you’re goddamn exhausted.” Ain’t that the truth? Turns out, when the Four of Swords comes up, it’s a reminder to take a nap.
I love a card that reminds us to take care of ourselves. To relax, close our eyes, and meditate. A card that encourages us to do what we need to recharge. I know many of you carry far more responsibility than I do, and powering down sounds much easier than it actually is. Is there one thing you can do (or not do) that will lighten your load? If so, give yourself permission to do that.
My strategy is a little bit different. I woke up with a lot of productive energy this morning, so I got up early and started making a list of everything I need and hope to do this week. I call it a brain dump. I write down every single thing that comes to mind, even if I know there’s no way it will get done. Like, for example, installing a much-needed storage cabinet for our linens and re-organizing our entire life. Why is it I get motivated to do these huge jobs at the most inappropriate times? You and I both know those linens will get stuffed into an existing closet until I have time and energy to tackle them more efficiently. Which, knowing me, will be the week before Christmas next year.
So, my tasks is sorting out everything that absolutely has to get done and forgetting the rest. There is more than enough to do without piling on things that can be done later.
Since the Four of Swords is a self-care card, I decided to take a look at TAROT FOR SELF-CARE by Minerva Siegel. In her entry, she indicates that the card is advising us to carve out some alone time for ourselves. Ha! Good luck with that. But if you’re able to, do it. Siegel suggests using this time for introspection, but I say go watch a Hallmark holiday movie instead. I’m reflective and introspective all damn year—for me, self-care is taking a break from thinking and analyzing so much. But, as with all things tarot, you do you.
Moving on to one of my favorites, Michelle Tea, let’s see what she has to say in her book MODERN TAROT. “This card gently insists that you turn off your devices, power down your computer, and go off the grid. You badly need some downtime to refresh your energy.” I don’t know about you, but that sounds like heaven to me. Maybe I’ll commit to taking out one of the pristine yellow legal pads my husband just ordered and write only in long hand this week. Turning off my devices entirely isn’t practical, but reducing their use certainly is.
I’ll end with my all-time favorite tarot guide, TAROT FOR CHANGE by Jessica Dore. As usual, her message is weightier, speaking of loneliness, self-limiting beliefs, and atonement (an older interpretation of the Four of Swords). But she returns to a kind of self-care when she writes, “We have a choice: we can either continue acting out the futile cycle of seeking to outsource the care we so desperately need or get going with the task of working with our fears and loneliness differently.” Here, she’s referring to our habit of seeking out new people and situations to provide security and care without taking responsibility for our own needs. Expecting others to fill the gaps we don’t believe we can fill ourselves. This can often lead to unhappy relationships and other commitments, so it’s a worthy message, but today I’m choosing to apply it in a less cerebral way.
Some of my writer friends have made lists of their writing-related accomplishments this year, which I haven’t yet done. But I’m proud of a few things related to this newsletter. First, I honored my commitment to myself and kept it going until the New Year. Second, I’ve increased subscriptions by about 10%. I’m pleased with that growth! Third, I’m enjoying a different type of writing. Fiction will always be my first love, but dipping my toes into personal essays (maybe these aren’t exactly that, but you know what I mean) has been wonderful.
I’m officially committing myself to another three months (either here on Substack or, if necessary, another service).
But for now, I’m taking the Four of Swords’ message to heart. This will be the final Tarot Tuesday of 2023 and Friday’s brief newsletter will be my last of the year. Wishing all of you a peaceful closing to 2023.
Holly xx