Letting bygones be bygones can be really difficult; still, swallowing your pride and letting this situation go might be the best course of action for everyone involved. Know that you can maintain healthy boundaries while still being civil. Shake hands and move on. —Minerva Siegel, TAROT FOR SELF-CARE: HOW TO USE THE TAROT TO MANIFEST YOUR BEST SELF
Deck: MOVIE TAROT by Diana McMahon Collis (author) and Natalie Foss (illustrator)
For newbies: I’ve been regularly pulling tarot cards for almost two years, but I’m not even close to being able to do a reading without guidance. Learning to trust my intuition and determining how a particular card applies to my own life—either in the moment or historically—is a big part of my tarot process, so while I often rely on “traditional'“ card meanings, I allow myself the freedom to go where the card and my thoughts take me.
What I offer in this newsletter are some general interpretations but also interpretations that are personal to me. I invite you to put your own spin on the cards to gain meaning for yourself.
The purpose of my tarot journaling is to clear my mind of chaos to make room for creativity. I hope you find it useful, as well.
Swords & Fives
Before we delve into the meaning of the Five of Swords specifically, let’s take a general look at the suit of Swords and the number Five in the tarot. Swords are associated with action, both constructive and destructive. The fives represent conflict and change. Put them together and you get a card that signifies intense energy, pride, aggression, disagreement, and sometimes, brute force.
Five of Swords
I have to admit, the Five of Swords, as illustrated in MOVIE TAROT, isn’t as evocative as it could be. So here are some depictions from a few of my other decks to get you in the mood.
Deck: THE MODERN WITCH TAROT DECK by Lisa Sterle
Deck: TAROT OF THE DIVINE by Yoshi Yoshitani
Deck: THE PHANTOMWISE TAROT by Erin Morgenstern
As you can see, the Five of Swords is not the most cheerful of cards. In most depictions, it shows a scene of conflict where the apparent “losers” walk away from battle while the “winner” stands there wondering if victory was worth the sacrifice.
The card carries an important lesson: backing down isn’t a sign of weakness but a decisive action requiring self-awareness and self-reflection. A knowledge that sometimes, the fight isn’t worth it. In other words, conflict is great in our stories, but in our real lives, not so much.
To be certain, backing down isn’t always the answer, either. Conflict is a normal part of life that we must all learn to handle in emotionally healthy ways, primarily by setting and enforcing clear boundaries for ourselves. If you always avoid conflict, you lose parts of yourself bit by bit until you no longer know who you are or what it is you stand for.
The Five of Swords embodies the opposite side of this coin. It’s an overwhelming force I often see in myself, a bull in a china shop destroying everything in my path. Despite the good intentions I may have started with, my strong drive to defend my beliefs can spiral into a destructive “win at all costs” mentality. This inevitably backfires, leading to a sense of loss and self-denigration because I allowed myself to get out of control.
If you claim to hate drama but somehow always find yourself in the middle of it—that’s me, raising my hand sheepishly—it might indicate that you’re not being vigilant about personal boundaries. You might not even know what they are. Neglect them long enough, and you become resentful because it feels like people are taking advantage of you. Eventually, that resentment builds until you blow up, saying things you don’t mean or acting in ways that don’t align with your values.
You might “win” in the short term, but in the long term, you feel foolish, exposed, and apologetic because you acted like a jerk. And so, in winning, you lose.
Think about the times you’ve been in conflict with others. Did the negative vibes resulting from the situation weigh you down? Wouldn’t it be great if we could step back and see the long-term consequences of our choices clearly before taking action? Stepping back doesn’t mean giving in; it means taking stock of a situation before reacting in a way that might put your future self at risk. There is wisdom in recognizing when compromise is called for and there is great power in walking away when the situation calls for it.
Unfortunately, learning to set and enforce boundaries can be difficult, especially when we don’t have a role model to teach us. When I don’t vibe with someone immediately, I tend to write them off as someone I’ll never be friends with. I’ve been proven wrong countless times—and as I get to know them better, I realize that what I first interpreted as stand-offishness was actually them enforcing their boundaries.
My fear of being written off (the way I do with others) or disliked often prevents me from saying ‘no’ or standing up for myself. Conversely, spreading myself too thin makes me grumpy, dissatisfied, and indignant. This never ends well.
The Five of Swords reminds us that in war, there are no winners. Your negative feelings might be justified and need airing, but is it possible to do it without blowing the doors off the house? Think about the long-term consequences of the action you’re about to take, and, if possible, dial it down so that you come out of it knowing you did the right thing without destroying everything in the process.
Thinking about it, I should probably revisit the Five of Swords more regularly. Its message hits way too close to home.
How do you typically handle conflict?
Tuesday Recommendations—Substack Edition
Heather Havrilesky’s Ask Polly. Though it has nothing to do with the tarot, this week’s newsletter, Lashing Out Hurts You the Most, dissects the lessons of the Five of Swords much better than I did.
The Power of Nostalgia by Alex Segura. His obsession with the Beatles was news to me and I loved reading this deep dive into the band and their latest—presumably, their last—song, “Now and Then.”
E.A. Aymar’s latest newsletter, The Importance of a Good Editor, is about so much more than editing. It deftly addresses a recent controversy in crime fiction in which he was labeled “difficult” (there’s a touch of a Five of Swords warning in that section even if I’m pretty sure Ed wasn’t thinking about that when he wrote it), it gives writers a sense of what to look for in an editor, and it features my friend, Lori Rader Day, in a book-centered game of “Kiss, Marry, Kill.”
See you Friday, friends!
Holly xx